Okay, so I'm on this grand health thing, and it's fabulous and great and all that. First I was all like, "Oh my gosh, I'm gonna exercise and look like a sexy supermodel!!"
3 weeks of daily inhumane self torture later, I WEIGHED EXACTLY THE SAME.
Alright, I'm cool with that, at least I felt a tad healthier...I guess. So I stopped for a bit and kept eating the same I always had, which if you ever saw me eat is REALLY bad. But hey, I like my sweets, and I exercised for THREE WEEKS. That counts for something right? But I kinda felt like one of those lard butts who are like, "Wow, I lifted my fat self out of my chair, I deserve a doughnut!".
So in order to...well...not do THAT, I stopped and thought to myself, gosh, I'm gonna stop eating like a pig before I look like one. Not one of those adorable ones that stay small forever that everyone's getting as a pet these days, because when you're looking for a pet, a good idea is getting something known for rolling around in mud to live in your house. NO. A BIG, FAT, OBESE, SMELLY, JIGGLY PIG.
So just yesterday, my mother bought me health food and multivitamins. Which is fantabulous, heck, I already feel lighter. To bad I despise health food.
So I hate health food AND exercise, so what's a poor chick to do?! I know you need both, so WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO TO?!
The moral of my story is don't diet and exercise at the same freaking time. Like, switch off every once in a while or something. Because if at any point in time I decided to do both of them at the same time, I'd have to kill myself.
No, scratch that, I'd already be dead from lack of time for video games and delightfully chocolatey doughnuts.
Because without doughnuts, we'd all die, and that's probably the real moral of the story.
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