I just read the most moronic article about something I've never even heard of. The Fake Geek Girl. I didn't even know this was a thing. Apparently they're chicks out there faking being a geek. Not because they like being socially ostracized, which was my initial thought, but because somewhere along the line it became COOL.
First of all, WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?!? I've been freakishly obsessed with Lord of the Rings for YEARS. Heck, I plan on going to see the Hobbit and walking out in awe and busting people's ears with fan girl screams. I was the 8 year old tomboy who obsessed over video games instead of clothes and make up, and I'm SO thrilled I missed the boat on that one, because I look like a bumbling idiot trying to figure out how to look feminine at 18 years old. I'm currently nuts about old school adventure games. No, not just Zelda, though I love the Zelda series with every fiber of my being. No, the 80's -90's TEXT ADVENTURES AND POINT AND CLICK ADVENTURE GAMES. Yeah, a lot of people share that hobby, I assure you. It never made me cool. It got me laughed at and now I'm socially awkward.
I will never understand society. Being a geek/nerd/dork IS NOT NOW NOR HAS IT EVER BEEN POPULAR. Maybe a couple of fandoms got lucky, but none of mine ever did. Except maybe Lord of the Rings. But that's just because it's Lord of the Rings.
What does "geek" really mean anyway? Are we really just using it to describe comic book fanatics? Because there are so many better things to obsess over, and I've already described most of them two paragraphs ago.
These rants about fake geek girls are being written by 40 year old men who can't stand that suddenly there's some babes, few and far between, who like all those dumb superhero movies coming out now, or who dare to play a first person shooter. They're so unused to getting attention from women they don't know how to handle it. No, these girls are not faking it for men. I would LOVE to have a guy, but I love men less than I hate comic books and first person shooters. I hate all those "Yesss, I'm a girl who plays Call of Duty" facebook pages and whatnot because they're repetitive and obnoxious, but they aren't faking it. Liking some of that mess is to boring to someone who really doesn't care to bother faking enjoyment.
Girls have better things to do than pretend to like things for men.
I don't get the fuss. So they're upset about a stinkin LABEL?! Does it have to be exclusive to men?! Are men really getting upset because some poor misguided girls are fascinated by Batman for some reason?
This whole thing is made up. There's the exact same number of people who can honestly be classified under geek as there was a couple years ago, the only difference is that some of them are women who aren't afraid to hide it. It's just morons flipping out because they now have no excuse for not having a girlfriend, BECAUSE GIRLS CAN LIKE NERDY THINGS TOO.
Whatever. Wake me up when my hobbies become cool. Oh, wait, they probably never will be. And I'm cool with that. I'll tell you one thing though, if they suddenly did become popular, I WOULD BE HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO PEOPLE.
I'm totally aware I might not have proved any sort of point, because I'm not sure what the point was in the first place. Maybe it's that geeks, no matter the gender or fandom, should be proud that they aren't afraid to like something different, and that if it suddenly becomes popular, DON'T GET UPSET, because that makes zero sense. You know what happens to fandoms with no popularity? All the fans starve to death and are left unsatisfied. SO BE THANKFUL.
So I'll just sit here and wait for the day when Monkey Island regains enough popularity and support for Ron Gilbert to make his true Monkey Island 3, because me and bunch of middle aged guys wanna know the true secret of Monkey Island.
That will be all.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Monday, October 1, 2012
Waiting on God
Okay, so my life has been awfully strenuous, more so than it should be considering I haven't been doing much of anything. I guess MENTALLY strenuous is more accurate. I've been thinking about Disney auditions and than there's my whole boy thing...you'd think that someone who has never had a boyfriend in her whole entire life wouldn't ever worry about boys. You'd be mistaken. Very sadly mistaken.
BUT WHATEVER.
So anyway, I'm a senior in high school. It's all well and good and all that...except I'm 0% prepared to be an actually member of society. I'M NOT JOKING. You know when you're a freshman and all your friends are already stacking up on AP classes and crud? Well...I didn't do that. I took easy classes. So unless I go to a music college, college seriously isn't a choice. Especially because I'm broke, because instead of getting one of those silly jobs, I played video games. Yeah. But hey, someone had to save Hyrule.
So other than college, what can I possibly do? Work at Disney World! Yup. So that solves that problem of course. I guess. And it's really exciting too, because I spent YEARS telling people I was going to do something else. I knew I was going to sing somewhere. I mean, since it's the absolute only thing I can do, I kinda assumed that was God's plan. I slipped up when I spent 18 years telling God what I was going to do and how I was going to do it. Which is always a good idea, NOT. It's only when I started praying about what I was supposed to do that Disney started looking more and more possible. I'm sincerely hoping that I at least kind of understand His plan now, but whatever it is that He has for me, it's so much better than what I want to do.
So that's all falling into place, and it's AWESOME. But there's still that other thing I mentioned back at the top...boys. Oh gosh. My favorite subject. Ya know, it's starting to get a little tiresome. I always do everything wrong. Someone once told me that I've just never been with anyone because...well...I come off really strong. REALLY STRONG. I'm sure nobody has any idea what they're talking about. I know a few guys who aren't talking to me because I was incredibly obvious and insane. I don't blame them. I blatantly disobeyed God and mostly chased guys who didn't love Him. Sure there were some Christians in there, but they still weren't for me. Have I found anyone else? OH MY GOSH I'M NOT TELLING IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!! Even if I did, the only difference this time is I'm not broadcasting it, and I'm not chasing him around. It's creepy. Anyway, I swear there's a point to all of this. I'm getting there, I promise.
Okay, my point. My rambling is over and I'm almost done and I totally haven't done much talking about the title of this whole post. The one thing that pulls all of this mess together. Guys, I could have spared my self tons of disappointment and heartache if I just spent the past 18 years pursuing a relationship with God instead if planning my future as a rock star and chasing boys. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior when I was 6 years old, I should be a lot closer to Him by now than I am. The point of this is if I focused on what I needed to and trusted God to bring everything else into my life when He planned to, I wouldn't be where I am. I wouldn't be a mess.
What's the beauty of it all? God loves me. He's never given up on me. Not once, and now that I'm finally starting to give Him control, things are falling into place. God's plan is better than ours, and if He's telling us not to do things it's because what He has is just so much better. I'm gonna remember that! I'll probably still screw up, hopefully it's just less than usual.
So that's it. Remember, God made you special, and He loves you very much!! Yeah, that was a total Veggie Tales reference.
So here's "While I'm Waiting" from Fireproof, because it fits and Fireproof was an awesome movie.
BUT WHATEVER.
So anyway, I'm a senior in high school. It's all well and good and all that...except I'm 0% prepared to be an actually member of society. I'M NOT JOKING. You know when you're a freshman and all your friends are already stacking up on AP classes and crud? Well...I didn't do that. I took easy classes. So unless I go to a music college, college seriously isn't a choice. Especially because I'm broke, because instead of getting one of those silly jobs, I played video games. Yeah. But hey, someone had to save Hyrule.
So other than college, what can I possibly do? Work at Disney World! Yup. So that solves that problem of course. I guess. And it's really exciting too, because I spent YEARS telling people I was going to do something else. I knew I was going to sing somewhere. I mean, since it's the absolute only thing I can do, I kinda assumed that was God's plan. I slipped up when I spent 18 years telling God what I was going to do and how I was going to do it. Which is always a good idea, NOT. It's only when I started praying about what I was supposed to do that Disney started looking more and more possible. I'm sincerely hoping that I at least kind of understand His plan now, but whatever it is that He has for me, it's so much better than what I want to do.
So that's all falling into place, and it's AWESOME. But there's still that other thing I mentioned back at the top...boys. Oh gosh. My favorite subject. Ya know, it's starting to get a little tiresome. I always do everything wrong. Someone once told me that I've just never been with anyone because...well...I come off really strong. REALLY STRONG. I'm sure nobody has any idea what they're talking about. I know a few guys who aren't talking to me because I was incredibly obvious and insane. I don't blame them. I blatantly disobeyed God and mostly chased guys who didn't love Him. Sure there were some Christians in there, but they still weren't for me. Have I found anyone else? OH MY GOSH I'M NOT TELLING IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!! Even if I did, the only difference this time is I'm not broadcasting it, and I'm not chasing him around. It's creepy. Anyway, I swear there's a point to all of this. I'm getting there, I promise.
Okay, my point. My rambling is over and I'm almost done and I totally haven't done much talking about the title of this whole post. The one thing that pulls all of this mess together. Guys, I could have spared my self tons of disappointment and heartache if I just spent the past 18 years pursuing a relationship with God instead if planning my future as a rock star and chasing boys. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior when I was 6 years old, I should be a lot closer to Him by now than I am. The point of this is if I focused on what I needed to and trusted God to bring everything else into my life when He planned to, I wouldn't be where I am. I wouldn't be a mess.
What's the beauty of it all? God loves me. He's never given up on me. Not once, and now that I'm finally starting to give Him control, things are falling into place. God's plan is better than ours, and if He's telling us not to do things it's because what He has is just so much better. I'm gonna remember that! I'll probably still screw up, hopefully it's just less than usual.
So that's it. Remember, God made you special, and He loves you very much!! Yeah, that was a total Veggie Tales reference.
So here's "While I'm Waiting" from Fireproof, because it fits and Fireproof was an awesome movie.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
The Magic Never Stopped
In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm one of those girls with her head in the clouds ALL THE FREAKING TIME. You know, the chick who goes nuts over Christmas and insists on being home to watch all the Christmas specials whenever they're on. Like Christmas, there's a lot of places and times of the year that make you feel...well...magic. Like, that fluttery feeling you get when something special is happening. One of those places for me always has been and always will be Disney World.
Now, I have a long and amazing history with Disney World. We started taking trips down to Florida for a week long stay at Disney World since I was really little, and since then we've gone exactly 11 times. I cherished every single trip like it was my last, because, well...my parents always said it was. But until trip 11, that was never true.
I totally know what you're thinking, "Even amazing places like Disney World get tiresome after that many trips, they HAVE to." Well, they did. For almost my whole family. I, of course, had no idea what they were talking about because after sitting in the car for 10 hours, seeing the big Disney World entrance sign never once failed to give me that big magical fluttery feeling. You know their catch phrase, "The place where dreams come true"? To me, that always has been what it was. Waking up in a Disney hotel knowing I was going to spend my day in the most magical place on earth was like a dream.
What could have possibly compelled me to write this now? I mean, school's starting up and I have to start thinking about applying to colleges and working! Not Disney World. Ah, but there's a VERY good reason for thinking about Disney World when I have to start taking my future into consideration. That reason being my big dream of working there.
I would give anything to work there. Heck, I'd probably pay them to work there. As I take steps toward my future as an adult, me working at the most magical place on earth seems incredibly practical. Maybe, just maybe, I'll make it happen. No, maybe God will make it happen. All I can do is pray.
Now, I have a long and amazing history with Disney World. We started taking trips down to Florida for a week long stay at Disney World since I was really little, and since then we've gone exactly 11 times. I cherished every single trip like it was my last, because, well...my parents always said it was. But until trip 11, that was never true.
I totally know what you're thinking, "Even amazing places like Disney World get tiresome after that many trips, they HAVE to." Well, they did. For almost my whole family. I, of course, had no idea what they were talking about because after sitting in the car for 10 hours, seeing the big Disney World entrance sign never once failed to give me that big magical fluttery feeling. You know their catch phrase, "The place where dreams come true"? To me, that always has been what it was. Waking up in a Disney hotel knowing I was going to spend my day in the most magical place on earth was like a dream.
What could have possibly compelled me to write this now? I mean, school's starting up and I have to start thinking about applying to colleges and working! Not Disney World. Ah, but there's a VERY good reason for thinking about Disney World when I have to start taking my future into consideration. That reason being my big dream of working there.
I would give anything to work there. Heck, I'd probably pay them to work there. As I take steps toward my future as an adult, me working at the most magical place on earth seems incredibly practical. Maybe, just maybe, I'll make it happen. No, maybe God will make it happen. All I can do is pray.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
A Healthier Me
Okay, so I'm on this grand health thing, and it's fabulous and great and all that. First I was all like, "Oh my gosh, I'm gonna exercise and look like a sexy supermodel!!"
3 weeks of daily inhumane self torture later, I WEIGHED EXACTLY THE SAME.
Alright, I'm cool with that, at least I felt a tad healthier...I guess. So I stopped for a bit and kept eating the same I always had, which if you ever saw me eat is REALLY bad. But hey, I like my sweets, and I exercised for THREE WEEKS. That counts for something right? But I kinda felt like one of those lard butts who are like, "Wow, I lifted my fat self out of my chair, I deserve a doughnut!".
So in order to...well...not do THAT, I stopped and thought to myself, gosh, I'm gonna stop eating like a pig before I look like one. Not one of those adorable ones that stay small forever that everyone's getting as a pet these days, because when you're looking for a pet, a good idea is getting something known for rolling around in mud to live in your house. NO. A BIG, FAT, OBESE, SMELLY, JIGGLY PIG.
So just yesterday, my mother bought me health food and multivitamins. Which is fantabulous, heck, I already feel lighter. To bad I despise health food.
So I hate health food AND exercise, so what's a poor chick to do?! I know you need both, so WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO TO?!
The moral of my story is don't diet and exercise at the same freaking time. Like, switch off every once in a while or something. Because if at any point in time I decided to do both of them at the same time, I'd have to kill myself.
No, scratch that, I'd already be dead from lack of time for video games and delightfully chocolatey doughnuts.
Because without doughnuts, we'd all die, and that's probably the real moral of the story.
3 weeks of daily inhumane self torture later, I WEIGHED EXACTLY THE SAME.
Alright, I'm cool with that, at least I felt a tad healthier...I guess. So I stopped for a bit and kept eating the same I always had, which if you ever saw me eat is REALLY bad. But hey, I like my sweets, and I exercised for THREE WEEKS. That counts for something right? But I kinda felt like one of those lard butts who are like, "Wow, I lifted my fat self out of my chair, I deserve a doughnut!".
So in order to...well...not do THAT, I stopped and thought to myself, gosh, I'm gonna stop eating like a pig before I look like one. Not one of those adorable ones that stay small forever that everyone's getting as a pet these days, because when you're looking for a pet, a good idea is getting something known for rolling around in mud to live in your house. NO. A BIG, FAT, OBESE, SMELLY, JIGGLY PIG.
So just yesterday, my mother bought me health food and multivitamins. Which is fantabulous, heck, I already feel lighter. To bad I despise health food.
So I hate health food AND exercise, so what's a poor chick to do?! I know you need both, so WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO TO?!
The moral of my story is don't diet and exercise at the same freaking time. Like, switch off every once in a while or something. Because if at any point in time I decided to do both of them at the same time, I'd have to kill myself.
No, scratch that, I'd already be dead from lack of time for video games and delightfully chocolatey doughnuts.
Because without doughnuts, we'd all die, and that's probably the real moral of the story.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
It's midnight, I'm about to be a little random.
It's been forever since I've had anything happy to say. Well it's much to late to say miserable things, but I'm half asleep. I'll type whatever I freaking want to.
You know, I've been thinking about something. You'd think that when it comes to the horror genre, there's two types of people. Those who love it and can handle it, and those who hate it because they can't. But no, there's a third category. The person who loves getting scared but can't handle it under any circumstance.
I fall into that third category. And what a miserable existence it is. Imagine enjoying every moment of the lovely film Silent Hill, and then cowering in bed with the lights left on, because if you turned them off Pyramid Head would totally show up and tear you apart. Oh well. Me and my freaking beloved horror films are doomed to a long painful love/hate relationship. Oh well. I love them to much to give them up!
Another thing I've been thinking of, and this has nothing to do with anything written above, money. I'd sure love to have some. I'm trying to get a job and all that, but nobody seems to want me. But that's alright. I don't need money for that big expensive college I dream of attending. SERIOUSLY. Having money must be nice, you can go out and do whatever the heck you want. Buy clothes, go to your favorite restaurants on a regular basis, go see all the freaking ridiculously awesome looking movies you're dying to see...
IM SO MAD. Like, all the movies I've been psyched to go see are all going to be in theaters at the end of this year. Where the heck am I supposed to get all that money that fast?!?! EXACTLY. I can't. But dangit, nothing's going to stop me from seeing the Les Miserables movie. Silent Hill Revelation 3D will just have to wait. Hey, I guess this did almost tie back into that whole first part...YAY ME.
It's all for the best. I couldn't handle Silent Hill on my ipod in daylight, I don't think I could handle the terrifying 3D sequel on the big screen.
..........BUT WHAT ABOUT THE HOBBIT?!?!?! I have to see that movie too....Ugh, I'll just get a boyfriend. He'll pay for all this.
Problem solved.
You know, I've been thinking about something. You'd think that when it comes to the horror genre, there's two types of people. Those who love it and can handle it, and those who hate it because they can't. But no, there's a third category. The person who loves getting scared but can't handle it under any circumstance.
I fall into that third category. And what a miserable existence it is. Imagine enjoying every moment of the lovely film Silent Hill, and then cowering in bed with the lights left on, because if you turned them off Pyramid Head would totally show up and tear you apart. Oh well. Me and my freaking beloved horror films are doomed to a long painful love/hate relationship. Oh well. I love them to much to give them up!
Another thing I've been thinking of, and this has nothing to do with anything written above, money. I'd sure love to have some. I'm trying to get a job and all that, but nobody seems to want me. But that's alright. I don't need money for that big expensive college I dream of attending. SERIOUSLY. Having money must be nice, you can go out and do whatever the heck you want. Buy clothes, go to your favorite restaurants on a regular basis, go see all the freaking ridiculously awesome looking movies you're dying to see...
IM SO MAD. Like, all the movies I've been psyched to go see are all going to be in theaters at the end of this year. Where the heck am I supposed to get all that money that fast?!?! EXACTLY. I can't. But dangit, nothing's going to stop me from seeing the Les Miserables movie. Silent Hill Revelation 3D will just have to wait. Hey, I guess this did almost tie back into that whole first part...YAY ME.
It's all for the best. I couldn't handle Silent Hill on my ipod in daylight, I don't think I could handle the terrifying 3D sequel on the big screen.
..........BUT WHAT ABOUT THE HOBBIT?!?!?! I have to see that movie too....Ugh, I'll just get a boyfriend. He'll pay for all this.
Problem solved.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Pondering the New Year
Resolutions.
That word is in everyones mind as the new year approaches. People come up with all sorts of things. Stuff like weight loss, learning something new, and finding love end up on people's to-do lists for the upcoming year.
What's that you say? You're DYING to know what my resolution is?
I couldn't say. I don't know.
In years past I've written down things like weight loss( which EVERYONE does, I assure you I forgot it after January 1st, also like everyone else), learning guitar or piano, improving vocally, and getting a boyfriend.
This year I'm not quite sure what my focus is gonna be. Well, that's not entirely true.
You see, I just came up with something, and I think it sounds pretty darn good.
Ready for this?
I'm gonna be STRONGER.
Woah
You know WHY I fail every year?
It's because I'm a weak little girl who freaks out at the stupidest little things and I FAIL at the things I know I'm supposed to be doing. Things that God wants me to do!! That's the key thing right there. I look at things other than the God who loves me and prioritize them WAY above Him. It's STUPID and I CAN'T live life the way I've been doing it. God is never going to give me the BIG things that I have been created to do if I freak out and run away from the little things He's asking me to handle right now.
Know what's even crazier?
I'm just making this up right now, 5 minutes ago I didn't think I was doing much of anything in the new year.
But God already had plans, and I'd be an idiot to not recognize what I'm obviously supposed to be doing.
Strengthening my relationship with God.
That ALONE is going to make me a stronger person. But God doesn't give you strength. There's no burst of courage burning inside you after you say a little prayer.
No. God doesn't give you strength. He CAN, but that's not how He's ever chosen to do things with me.
He gives you times where you NEED to be strong and expects that you know and love Him well enough to TRUST HIM. You never get stronger. That's God's strength that gets you through things, and being able to rely on that only comes from knowing His word. You need to constantly rely on His strength, because if we were constantly the ones getting stronger, we'd end up thinking we don't need Him.
But we do.
So yeah. I guess then I'm not asking for strength because that contradicts my whole statement. I guess what I'm asking for is faith.
I don't want to handle things on my own. But I can handle them just fine if I have the faith that God is right by my side.
I'd take relying on God over my own strength any day!
So BRING IT ON NEW YEAR!!
There's nothing I won't be able to handle with God at my side, but I dare you to throw all you got at me!!
That word is in everyones mind as the new year approaches. People come up with all sorts of things. Stuff like weight loss, learning something new, and finding love end up on people's to-do lists for the upcoming year.
What's that you say? You're DYING to know what my resolution is?
I couldn't say. I don't know.
In years past I've written down things like weight loss( which EVERYONE does, I assure you I forgot it after January 1st, also like everyone else), learning guitar or piano, improving vocally, and getting a boyfriend.
This year I'm not quite sure what my focus is gonna be. Well, that's not entirely true.
You see, I just came up with something, and I think it sounds pretty darn good.
Ready for this?
I'm gonna be STRONGER.
Woah
You know WHY I fail every year?
It's because I'm a weak little girl who freaks out at the stupidest little things and I FAIL at the things I know I'm supposed to be doing. Things that God wants me to do!! That's the key thing right there. I look at things other than the God who loves me and prioritize them WAY above Him. It's STUPID and I CAN'T live life the way I've been doing it. God is never going to give me the BIG things that I have been created to do if I freak out and run away from the little things He's asking me to handle right now.
Know what's even crazier?
I'm just making this up right now, 5 minutes ago I didn't think I was doing much of anything in the new year.
But God already had plans, and I'd be an idiot to not recognize what I'm obviously supposed to be doing.
Strengthening my relationship with God.
That ALONE is going to make me a stronger person. But God doesn't give you strength. There's no burst of courage burning inside you after you say a little prayer.
No. God doesn't give you strength. He CAN, but that's not how He's ever chosen to do things with me.
He gives you times where you NEED to be strong and expects that you know and love Him well enough to TRUST HIM. You never get stronger. That's God's strength that gets you through things, and being able to rely on that only comes from knowing His word. You need to constantly rely on His strength, because if we were constantly the ones getting stronger, we'd end up thinking we don't need Him.
But we do.
So yeah. I guess then I'm not asking for strength because that contradicts my whole statement. I guess what I'm asking for is faith.
I don't want to handle things on my own. But I can handle them just fine if I have the faith that God is right by my side.
I'd take relying on God over my own strength any day!
So BRING IT ON NEW YEAR!!
There's nothing I won't be able to handle with God at my side, but I dare you to throw all you got at me!!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
What I Am Dealing With
Yeah. I know I posted something about insecurity before.
But there's feelings that go DEEPER and grip STRONGER than any insecurities. It all stems from that of course, but there's much more uglier, darker forms of insecurity that most of us deal with.
Self HATRED
Self Pity
Addictions
EXTREME Worry
It's all there, and I needed to admit that to the world, letting people know and just saying it feel wonderful. I can't say it's all gonna go away because of this, but I can say that admittance comes before acceptance, and WAY before healing ever happens.
I've had to think about all these feelings...I won't go deeper than that, but when I have the chance people are gonna know about how fake I've been, how disgusting the monster inside of me is, and how God heals people. He HEALS them, completely. I'm not anywhere near healed yet, but I know that if anyone can get me there, God can.
So I have hope, hope that will NEVER fade. God has me in His hands, and He isn't going to let go.
But there's feelings that go DEEPER and grip STRONGER than any insecurities. It all stems from that of course, but there's much more uglier, darker forms of insecurity that most of us deal with.
Self HATRED
Self Pity
Addictions
EXTREME Worry
It's all there, and I needed to admit that to the world, letting people know and just saying it feel wonderful. I can't say it's all gonna go away because of this, but I can say that admittance comes before acceptance, and WAY before healing ever happens.
I've had to think about all these feelings...I won't go deeper than that, but when I have the chance people are gonna know about how fake I've been, how disgusting the monster inside of me is, and how God heals people. He HEALS them, completely. I'm not anywhere near healed yet, but I know that if anyone can get me there, God can.
So I have hope, hope that will NEVER fade. God has me in His hands, and He isn't going to let go.
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